Friday, August 10, 2007

Slow Down

I am a New Yorker. I live life in the fast lane. I intuitively expect instant gratification, whether it be in the form of fast travel, fast service or fast internet connections. When I first started studying seduction and self-help, one of the first things I discovered was that my "fast life" mentality COULD NOT APPLY TO THIS AREA OF MY LIFE. When it comes to self-change (which is what the majority of seduction material is all about) NOTHING happens fast.

David DeAngelo uses the term "two steps forward, one step back". He uses it to describe physical escalation and "push-pull" tactics. But it applies to your inner self as well. Every time you will make some progress (steps forward), you will inevitably reach a point where you fail (steps back). In fact, in the realm of self-change you will likely take two steps forward and then two steps back many times. This will change OVER TIME, which is the key point here. You CANNOT beat up on yourself when something does not go right. I do it all the time, and it is a terrible habit.

I have been reading a book on Zen Buddhism and meditation, and the author says that the hardest part of meditation is FAILING at it so many times. What he means is that when you first start, your mind will wander everywhere. It won't even feel like meditation, because all you'll find yourself doing is REDIRECTING your mind to clarity every few seconds. This applies to self-change and seduction as well. You will inevitably slip into old patterns and feel shitty, especially when things go wrong. The key, however, is to persevere and REDIRECT your attention to the goal.